Christmas Flu By

26 Dec 2017 23 Comments

by Jo Price in Positive Energy Tags: , , , , ,

I can’t remember a Christmas when I haven’t felt a bittersweet sadness at the end of the day. Whenever this time has rolled around, I have always found myself feeling a little blue that the presents have been opened, the family events have come to a close, and the lovely decorations celebrating the reason for it all have worn out their welcome and will soon find themselves on the fast track to attic central.

However this year has officially allowed me to confirm that having 100% of your family of five simultaneously sporting a nasty flu infection for the big celebration weekend will move you right past bittersweet sentiments and straight into exhausted relief. I have also confirmed that this flu virus was the worst family gift. Ever.

Bleh and yuck.

I heard the words ‘Choose Joy’ countless times over my radio throughout this holiday season, and every single time, I wanted to throw a reindeer at the announcer. If I could find joy, wouldn’t I have opted for that right out of the gate??? Clearly it wasn’t that easy. I tried. I just couldn’t find it. And having a houseful of extremely sick humans didn’t exactly check any boxes off of my Christmas weekend wish list either.

But the strangest thing has happened. Right now in these last few minutes of Christmas, despite all of the disappointment of the past few days, I am surprised and truly grateful to feel my natural fondness for Christmas returning home to my heart where it belongs. It is familiar, and as always, is a love that easily surpasses my affection for any other time of the year. I am writing this by the fire in my living room as my family members are asleep in their beds. In this moment, there is a beautiful peacefulness. A stillness. The holiness of this day is palpable, and I can understand with perfect clarity how truly blessed we are.

There are joys to be found even in the heaviest times of our lives. We shouldn’t berate ourselves when we can’t find the light in the darkness, but we should celebrate every moment of it whenever we have clarity.

We have so much to be thankful for, but we become infected by so many things – illness, loneliness, hurt, worry, fear. They drag us down, and we feel so lost. Nevertheless we are stronger than we could ever imagine, and we never walk the path alone.

Christmas transcends the presents, the get togethers, the decorations, and most certainly the flu. It’s not about the day or the month or the season. It is about light, it is about hope, and it is about love. Those are the true gifts, and they are very, very real.

I pray that you feel the light, hope, and love that surround you always, and I pray that you cherish the true beauty of all around you and all within you.

Merry Christmas and blessings to you.  Jo

Cherish

Anxiety Overload – From the Chaos to the Calling

22 Dec 2017 30 Comments

by Jo Price in Positive Energy Tags: , , ,

At least I’m not talking to my Christmas lights. (Yet…)

As much as I have written about depression, OCD and anxiety, I actually struggle to write about these issues when I find myself working through a down cycle. The raw truth is that when I am in this place in my thoughts and feelings, I feel immensely insecure. I don’t want to respond to questions asking me how I’m doing. I don’t want to have the conversations confirming that I’m alright. It embarrasses me to be asked about it, and ultimately, I truly am okay.

However I’m writing about it tonight because years ago, I would not have been able to say with any sincerity that I knew that I would bounce back and that solid ground was in my future. I clawed onto any shred of hope that I could muster that life might get better. In my darkest moments, I hungered to trust in the possibilities of tomorrow yet failed to detect any light ahead. I gave up.

And yet I’m still here.

Despite my reticence to admit that I’m  struggling today, I feel called to write about it. I won’t bother listing my garbage du jour (and that’s just as well given that the internet would run out of room), but the snapshot summary is that I’m feeling overwhelmed beyond words.

While moments like these bring my feelings of self-doubt and utter imperfection to center stage, I now recognize that these negative sentiments are deceptive and that they cloud my perception. With a little time, these feelings will pass, and I will find sure footing once more.

Heavy emotions, insecurity, loneliness, extreme frustration, and sentiments of absolute hopelessness are not reserved for people who have been classified as having depression, OCD, anxiety, etc. Those bad boys are fair game for any human out there. Being in one or all of those emotional and mental places doesn’t mean that you are a lost cause who is screwed up beyond repair. It simply means that you are dealing with a heavy load, and in the immortal (and slightly paraphrased) words of Cousin Eddie, your mental and emotional shi**er is full.

I have found that my roughest moments tend to proceed tremendous positive reversals. It’s as if the universe sends us on a downward trajectory to provide a clear contrast when we strike the inflection point. We are able to shift from the downward spiral to a totally different and powerful direction. The difficult moments do not define us but those same occurrences can refine us. We are strengthened by our experiences – all of them. We discover who we are and what we can achieve. The chaos turns to clarity. But you have to allow time for that to happen even when you think that you are down and out.

Keep going. Do what you can no matter how small it may be. Try to have faith that you are where you are supposed to be despite appearances. If you can’t muster faith, aim for hope. And if that can’t be found either, just stick with holding on. It will get better. It always does.

Hang in there darling friends. Big hugs to you all. And yes I’m truly ok. It’s just been a dirty Santa beard in your smoked salmon kind of week. Oh well.   😉  Jo

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Calling

It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Tuesday – Can You Relate?

20 Dec 2017 18 Comments

by Jo Price in Positive Energy Tags: , , ,

sara with santa

This is the picture I took of my daughter with Santa last year (classic!).  Ironically it also happens to be a good representation of how I have felt this holiday season. (less classic!)

I’m simultaneously relieved and annoyed to confess that I finally finished decorating the Christmas trees and living room shelves this past weekend – one pitiful week before Christmas. Well…maybe “finished” isn’t the most accurate word to use in my current scenario. The real dish is that I grew tired of stepping around / stumbling over countless half empty boxes of ornaments and kitschy holiday decor, so I asked my husband to lug the remaining items to the attic.  Out of sight, out of sight.  (Clearly it’s not out of mind, but at least it isn’t underfoot either.)

I just can’t seem to muster my standard over the top holiday cheer.  I don’t feel depressed, but I would liken my level of Christmas spirit to that of a wet sock – albeit a clean wet sock, but a wet sock nonetheless.

People always complain about how Christmas has become so commercialized, but that has never fazed me.  I’m much more bothered by the excessive commercialization of Star Wars.  Must every car, soup, and dog food ad have a storm trooper?  I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if I saw a commercial for maxi-pads that were stamped with a rebel logo.  (Yes, I do recognize that this is an absurd thought.  Clearly maxi-pads would only be stamped with the imperial logo.  We all know that maxi-pads are strictly zoned for the dark side.)

This is a strange feeling for me, but I just can’t get excited about Christmas this year.  I hear carolers on the radio demanding figgy pudding or else they won’t go, and I want to tell them where to stick their freaky treat.  Also just to clarify – is this a European thing?  What the eff is figgy pudding?  And why won’t they go until they get it?  Does it have addictive properties?  No.  Don’t tell me.  If you know, I suspect that you are also competent in the art of making fruitcake and will argue fiercely that it’s a delicacy.  I’m not saying that your opinion on the whole fruitcake business is wrong.  Unless you want to tell me that it is good.  And to that I tell you this –  Fruitcake = No.  Also you are wrong.

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I’m tremendously grateful for the incredible blessings that have been bestowed on my family.  Truly.  However it has been a challenging few months, and I’m seriously run into the ground.  I just need a break from _____.  <— This is like Mad Libs.  Fill in any word at all in this blank, and I would like a break from it.

With all of that said, I am attempting to exit the writing stalemate that I have found myself in over the past few weeks.  Apologies for the re-entry ramble.  It feels like I’m working through the funk and have to find the mojo in MoJo once more.  I also apologize for my non-response to comments.  I’ll get my behind back in gear on that, too.  As I have said before, I disappear for extensive periods sometimes.  It’s not intended to offend nor is it reflective of a lack of affection.  Sometimes I just need to work through wherever I’m at in a given time, and my silence tends to be the ultimate clue that this is what is happening in my world at that moment.  Please know that my own husband has begged me for years to stop talking so much.  He would tell you that you should actually be thanking me.  So on that note, you’re welcome.

I sincerely hope that your holiday season has been lovely so far and that the beauty of this time of year has truly found you.  If it has, I would love to hear about it, but if it hasn’t, feel free to pull up a chair and give me the skinny on the fruitcake of a holiday you are feeling this year, too.  While I hope that you can’t relate to these same grinchy sentiments, I do wonder how many of you are picking up what I’m putting down because your tinsel feels like it’s hanging a little off-kilter this year, too.

Nevertheless, I send best wishes and love to you always dear friends.  Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and holiday blessings to you all!  Joanna

Relate

A Snowball’s Chance – Christmas Magic

11 Dec 2017 44 Comments

by Jo Price in Positive Energy Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Fulshear Run snow

My absence from writing has been a frustrating consequence of the incessant activities consuming me over the past couple of weeks.  We have been moving into a new home, prepping the former home for showings post-move, unpacking unpacking unpacking, and dealing with the countless other realities that come with working, parenting, and holiday-ing.  I have wacky stories to go with each of those items, but the current skinny is this – I’m just too darn tired to elaborate tonight.  To put it simply, the past few weeks have been extremely taxing both emotionally and physically.  I have been worn paper-thin, and it has seemed as though I have been unable to see the light behind the clouds.

But then came the snow.  The spectacularly beautiful and impossible snow.

When you live in the Houston area, Christmas weather typically means something below 80 degrees hopefully.  A few days ago, temperatures were actually above those levels.  Christmastime in tank tops and shorts – bleh – I loathe that.  But then there was a cold front.  A fantastically wonderful freeze your bum and your toes kind of cold front.  And with it came sheer magic!

As tired as I was, I stayed up most of that night watching the snow fall out my bedroom window.  It was too beautiful and rare, and I refused to miss it.  I woke my children up before the sun to make sure that we would have time to play in it before we had to head to school and work.  In truth I really wanted the whole family to play hooky all day, but it just wasn’t possible.  No matter.  We still found time to completely freeze our toes off and have a total blast.  It was utterly unexpected, incredibly special, and definitely a day for the memory books.

Seeing our new backyard transformed into a true winter wonderland felt like a refresher for my soul.  It reminded me that unexpected and wonderful magic is always possible.  We may feel like we are trapped in a situation we can’t change, but the truth is that we don’t know what spectacular realities are right around the corner.

Although I’m still exhausted to my core, I can sense the light behind the clouds peeking through once more.  At a minimum, I finally located the moving box that held the bulk of my underwear, so that seems like a good baseline for a turnaround.  If God can send loads of snow and undies my way in the same weekend, I’m hopeful that the miracle train is running in full steam and taking care of all of the things that I can’t.  I pray that my spirits will ascend in turn and that I will have the clarity to honor the beauty of this time.

I pray that you feel the magic of this season as well darling friends.  No matter what you believe, it truly is out there for all of us.  Sending prayers for your happiness and health now and always.

In love and light – Joanna

 
Ascend

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