I hate feeling this way. It’s like my mind decided to take a trip to Crazyville, and I can’t get off the damn bus.
It frightens me when I feel this way. I don’t like facing the sense of being out of control. My thoughts race. My emotions whipsaw back and forth at random. And I can’t even tell you what set it off.
Maybe my hormones bought a ticket on the world’s crappiest roller coaster. Maybe I’m overwhelmed with the endless day to day everything. Maybe I’m tired. I just don’t know, but that almost makes it worse. I am a looney without a cause, and I don’t like it. I feel lost.
But what I do know for certain is this – the main thing to hold onto during these rotten mind screw moments is the knowledge that what feels like reality in this moment is not actually as definitive as it seems. In fact it’s a total mental sham.
So I’m going to find some way to redirect my brain back onto the rails and keep holding on until that happens. My mind will settle back to normal sooner or later (very much hoping that it opts for sooner). This isn’t my favorite moment. Not at all. But I will be okay. The clouds always clear. I just need to give time for the sun to peek through once more. It will. It always does.
Much love to anyone else who is in this moment, too. I’m so picking up what you are putting down my friend, but we will get through it.
Hugs to you. Jo
Momentum of Joy 