***Originally posted in lifeinthespectrum.com/.
A friend sent me a link for a photography contest. Although I’m the noobiest of photography noobs, I couldn’t resist checking it out. Upon looking at the rules, I noticed that one of the requirements was submitting a one minute video about yourself. So I thought about it. One minute to describe myself. One minute to sell my purpose and my vision. One minute to catch somebody’s attention and show them what I have to bring to the artistic table.
And the mere contemplation of the idea of trying to convey any of those elements absolutely terrified me.
I know what I love and what I enjoy. I recognize what I dream of for my family and what I wish for in my life. But I feel like I am hovering between two realities – a split personality with dramatically different approaches at life.
There’s the practical pay the bills get the job done persona, but there’s also the artist dreamer wisher side as well. It’s as if the left and right sides of my brain have taken up arms against each other and neither is willing to back down.
So when I have to think about sharing who I am and what I want, I feel deeply conflicted. It’s a question of what I should and have to do versus what I want and whom I wish to be.
I want both worlds, and I am both of those personalities. I just don’t know if one side ultimately has to win out over the other. In the immortal words of Jeff Goldblum, life finds a way.
For now I can tell you that I have such great anxiety at the mere thought of making a video that my neck and chest are literally covered in hives. Maybe I should just start with finding a nice oversized scarf to mummify my torso in and then go from there.
Serenity now. Serenity now…
😉 Jo
***Originally posted in lifeinthespectrum.com/.
Momentum of Joy 
Sep 29, 2018 @ 17:49:46
And this post gives you exactly the script for your video- just tell the truth- be You- both sides of you 🙂
Sep 29, 2018 @ 21:37:42
Thank you for that perspective darling friend. I appreciate your pointing that out. Truly. I’m sure that I can communicate my complete and utter confusion in well under a minute. 😉 Seriously – I appreciate the thought and I so so appreciate you. ❤️
Sep 29, 2018 @ 18:23:20
I understand and have similar left/right issues. If I were to see the video requirement, I would simply move on to another contest. Nothing about me is photogenic!
Sep 29, 2018 @ 18:35:28
I feel that way, too, and ironically that’s pushing me to do it even more. I’m so damn uncomfortable on every level that it feels like a mental line in the sand!
Sep 30, 2018 @ 04:59:20
I’ve read your thoughts 🙂 for a long time now (well over a year), and in my humble opinion make the video and you’ll be absolutely fine.
Sep 30, 2018 @ 13:41:39
I sincerely take that as a true compliment. Thank you my friend for the encouragement. I probably will if anything just because I will be mad at myself if I weenie out! 😉
Sep 30, 2018 @ 09:06:28
I guess the right-hemisphere Joanna is the one suitable to make the video. Send the other one to sleep for a minute. Good thing there are many people like me who love both Joannas. They are very different but both are incredibly interesting and appealing.
I wrote something related in my blog few months ago. It is originally written in spanish but you can switch languages at the right side:
http://setumismoperomejor.com/como-callar-a-la-pesimista-voz-interior-que-nos-habla-a-todas-horas/
Oct 01, 2018 @ 06:00:50
I’m so excited about reading this!!
Oct 01, 2018 @ 06:09:36
This is a brilliant entry that you wrote. You inspire me greatly my friend. I am so very thankful for you and truly blessed to have you in my life.
Oct 01, 2018 @ 07:36:58
I feel the same about you. I am always looking forward to reading what is in that beautiful mind.
Oct 01, 2018 @ 08:22:19
🤗
Sep 30, 2018 @ 19:45:54
Your timing is funny because I am having the same problem. Next week I have to make 4 videos to promote my services. I know for a fact that is much better to use promotional videos than writing, but I avoid them as much as possible. I need about one hour of footage to get a couple minutes of something decent. I was not born a movie star definitely.
Oct 01, 2018 @ 06:11:08
I don’t know. You’ve always had that Cary Grant kind of smoothness in my mind. He had that kind smoothness with a wink of humor hidden in the eyes. 🙂
Oct 01, 2018 @ 07:34:36
Wow. Thanks a lot. I will think about that next time I make a video. Beliefs are a powerful thing; when I make a video I feel more like a Big Bang Theory Sheldon Cooper than a Cary Grant.