There are those in your world who will never be able to hear you. They don’t see you or get you, and no matter what you do, that dynamic won’t change. Thankfully, there are others who do, but that doesn’t mean that the relationships with those people will always be smooth or easy. When things get rough, it’s time to be raw and honest and speak up. If someone can’t or won’t hear you, that’s on them. But if you don’t recognize your value, it seems reasonable that other people won’t be able to see it either. You must put your own needs and wants back on the table. Relationships are never going to be a 50 / 50 deal, but there should always be a give and take dynamic.
If you are an incessant taker, cut that crap out. No one likes a bully, and you are going to lose the other person someday when they snap out of their endless giving spree. And if you are a boundless giver, find that spine you misplaced all those years ago and stop being a frickin’ weenie. Stand up for yourself and recognize that balancing the needs of both people make for a healthier overall relationship. You may be telling yourself that you live this way because you are meant to serve, but that can lead to tremendous resentment with a seriously ugly and painful ripple effect. Pop the delusion bubble, and realize that every life needs love, nourishment, and fulfillment – that includes your own.
Be a good listener, but also make sure that you are heard. Get out of the shadow! You matter, and you are so important. Remind your partners that you have a voice, and remind yourself that you have value.
***This post is dedicated to several of my incredible rockstar friends who have been disguising themselves as weenies. Remember that you matter, and remind the people in your life who you really are. Be honest with them, but even more importantly, be honest with yourself about what you really need.
Love to you always. Jo
Momentum of Joy 