This is the picture I took of my daughter with Santa last year (classic!). Ironically it also happens to be a good representation of how I have felt this holiday season. (less classic!)
I’m simultaneously relieved and annoyed to confess that I finally finished decorating the Christmas trees and living room shelves this past weekend – one pitiful week before Christmas. Well…maybe “finished” isn’t the most accurate word to use in my current scenario. The real dish is that I grew tired of stepping around / stumbling over countless half empty boxes of ornaments and kitschy holiday decor, so I asked my husband to lug the remaining items to the attic. Out of sight, out of sight. (Clearly it’s not out of mind, but at least it isn’t underfoot either.)
I just can’t seem to muster my standard over the top holiday cheer. I don’t feel depressed, but I would liken my level of Christmas spirit to that of a wet sock – albeit a clean wet sock, but a wet sock nonetheless.
People always complain about how Christmas has become so commercialized, but that has never fazed me. I’m much more bothered by the excessive commercialization of Star Wars. Must every car, soup, and dog food ad have a storm trooper? I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if I saw a commercial for maxi-pads that were stamped with a rebel logo. (Yes, I do recognize that this is an absurd thought. Clearly maxi-pads would only be stamped with the imperial logo. We all know that maxi-pads are strictly zoned for the dark side.)
This is a strange feeling for me, but I just can’t get excited about Christmas this year. I hear carolers on the radio demanding figgy pudding or else they won’t go, and I want to tell them where to stick their freaky treat. Also just to clarify – is this a European thing? What the eff is figgy pudding? And why won’t they go until they get it? Does it have addictive properties? No. Don’t tell me. If you know, I suspect that you are also competent in the art of making fruitcake and will argue fiercely that it’s a delicacy. I’m not saying that your opinion on the whole fruitcake business is wrong. Unless you want to tell me that it is good. And to that I tell you this – Fruitcake = No. Also you are wrong.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m tremendously grateful for the incredible blessings that have been bestowed on my family. Truly. However it has been a challenging few months, and I’m seriously run into the ground. I just need a break from _____. <— This is like Mad Libs. Fill in any word at all in this blank, and I would like a break from it.
With all of that said, I am attempting to exit the writing stalemate that I have found myself in over the past few weeks. Apologies for the re-entry ramble. It feels like I’m working through the funk and have to find the mojo in MoJo once more. I also apologize for my non-response to comments. I’ll get my behind back in gear on that, too. As I have said before, I disappear for extensive periods sometimes. It’s not intended to offend nor is it reflective of a lack of affection. Sometimes I just need to work through wherever I’m at in a given time, and my silence tends to be the ultimate clue that this is what is happening in my world at that moment. Please know that my own husband has begged me for years to stop talking so much. He would tell you that you should actually be thanking me. So on that note, you’re welcome.
I sincerely hope that your holiday season has been lovely so far and that the beauty of this time of year has truly found you. If it has, I would love to hear about it, but if it hasn’t, feel free to pull up a chair and give me the skinny on the fruitcake of a holiday you are feeling this year, too. While I hope that you can’t relate to these same grinchy sentiments, I do wonder how many of you are picking up what I’m putting down because your tinsel feels like it’s hanging a little off-kilter this year, too.
Nevertheless, I send best wishes and love to you always dear friends. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and holiday blessings to you all! Joanna
Momentum of Joy 
Dec 20, 2017 @ 02:19:42
Merry Christmas, Jo 🙂 X
Dec 20, 2017 @ 06:45:03
Thank you darling. I hope that yours is going well, too. Do you get into the whole Christmas shebang (Sh-bang?? Shhh bang!?? Shabang??? That word is like Hanukkah. I can never figure out how to spell it? You might think that I would just opt for an alternate word, but no. That’s too obvious.)
Dec 21, 2017 @ 02:48:08
Having an anxiety disorder means I have to take things slowly and try to not overwhelm myself. That said, even though I’ve tried, the anxiety is winning. I got four hours sleep last night. I have no idea how I am even typing this lol X
Dec 26, 2017 @ 08:46:35
How did the holiday weekend shake out your way?
Dec 20, 2017 @ 05:18:15
I know what you mean and I’ve had years like that. Sometimes, I’m just not into it. I love Christmas, but not the stress. This year, I’m full on and so happy. My mom is just the opposite and I can’t help but wonder, as I get older, if I’ll be just like her. She can’t even stand listening to the music, but here I am slapping on another Perry Como LP, lol. I’ve been this way my whole life, but I’ve had bad years too. The truth is, I don’t want to lose the Christmas spirit.
Depression runs in my family and I do feel that makes a huge difference. Some years I can’t cope with all the maddness, and others I welcome it. All I know is that I look at it like this– there are only so many Christmases. I turned 40 this year and time is never guaranteed. I want to enjoy as many Christmases as I can because we never know how many we have left. ❤😊 Much love and hugs, Joanna!
Dec 20, 2017 @ 07:11:19
I am right past 40 myself and yet I am typically the biggest Christmas kid in the house. I can’t sleep the whole night before and I drive the boys insane with incessant holiday music. As a bonus, my two daughters are completely hooked on the season so we are like a festive annoying army. I’m going to find my spirit dammit! I must not miss this annual opportunity to annoy my son and husband! 😉
Dec 22, 2017 @ 06:07:40
Lol! I do hope you feel better by the time Christmas gets here and I’ll be thinking about you. ❤
Dec 20, 2017 @ 09:01:46
Great piece, Jo.
I find all of the above to be true, but I’d like to add something. My daughter and her teachers and whomever else associated with the devil have introduced the Elf on the Shelf. What is going on?
As I raise my 7 year old into a world she will always remember as a time our president was “a mean bully,” I teach the lessons of right and wrong. The first on this long list is lying. Now don’t get me wrong, lying is necessary in a child’s world, but how can ask them to tell the truth when all we ever do is fabricate these stories around Christmas. That reminds me, I have to move the Elf on the Shelf before my daughter wakes up.
How can we live with ourselves by lying to our children about how people have entered our homes and instead of stealing our stuff, leave gifts. I’m seriously concerned about the level of anger and disappointment she will feel, and justifiably so, when she realizes the world and her parents have been lying to her all along.
It’s disheartening. Where’s the brandy?
Dec 22, 2017 @ 07:03:44
Dammit – I have to move those stupid elves, too! Thank you for the reminder even though I semi-resent it. ;). I need to write about the elf setback this year. The anger is already in full swing from one of my kids!
Dec 20, 2017 @ 11:24:19
Sometimes Christmas works just like facebook; everybody pretends to be so happy that it creates extra pressure to look just like everybody else.
Dec 22, 2017 @ 07:07:48
No I usually truly love it! This year just happens to be packing my Christmas spirit stocking to the brim with coal. I keep hearing a commercial on the radio where they say, “Choose joy!” and I growl at the radio every time I hear it. Ironically I do want to choose joy. I just need to relocate some of this irritation overload to make space for it first!
I appreciate your words so much and keep thinking about your message regarding Taoism. It has been on my mind incessantly and has helped calm my swirling thoughts. Thank you my dear friend. I am grateful for this words, and I grateful for you.
Dec 21, 2017 @ 10:16:22
Thanks for your honesty! I also can’t find my Christmas Jam this year. I didn’t really decorate at home, and I didn’t decorate the office at work. I love Christmas, but I hate clutter. I have spent the last year decluttering my life, and it has helped immensely. However, it has made me reluctant to throw a bunch of stuff all over my house ha! I truly love Christmas and the family time and joy. I enjoy giving gifts and drinking coffee with the fambam. But I can’t do it surrounded by fake snowflakes and fiber-optic snowmen anymore.
So it may not be that you’re not in the Christmas Spirit, as much as you may not be in the Spirit of excessive things and stuff in the name of the holidays.
Merry Christmas! I hope you find time to slow down, work through your stuff, and enjoy the season.
Dec 26, 2017 @ 09:03:35
If you ever happen to plan a rally focused on banishing those cheesy fiber optic snowmen, CALL ME! And start with picketing my house! My kids are making me crazy with that stuff!!!!
Dec 22, 2017 @ 12:36:05
You have been living a little bit of chaos but now it is time for rewards. New year, new house and new experiences are coming. Merry Christmas and a GREAT New Year!!!
Jan 29, 2018 @ 22:16:13
❤️❤️❤️
Dec 22, 2017 @ 12:44:53
Jaja. I just pìctured you wearing your Thor costume growling at the radio. Grrrr!!
Jan 29, 2018 @ 22:16:29
You know me so well!