Ok so maybe all of this facial hair isn’t entirely mine (but maybe some is). Also it’s possible that today is Halloween.
While I have zero issue with plastic surgery for other people, I find that it doesn’t really appeal to me on a personal level (today). With that said, there are elements of aging that are seriously less than fabulous. I don’t mind getting older from a number stand point. I just never realized that cosmic humor would require all of the numbers that pertain to my body to join in on the joke.
I went to see the doctor for a routine check-up. While I was there, I thought that perhaps the scale was pulling an excessively early April Fool’s Day joke on me. It wasn’t. The weight in question was shocking to me and is not a number that bears repeating. Ironically it is a number that a bear might weigh if she did happen to get on that same scale, too.
As a bonus I was in the perfect sunlight at another point and noticed something gleaming in my view. It took me a moment to realize that a long thin fuzzy hair had landed on my face. Another unhappy moment later led me to discover that I was a bit off the mark on my original assessment. The fuzzy didn’t land there. It was trying to escape my face. What the eff? When did I turn into a she-wolf?
It’s tough to feel pretty when your youthful bod has gone on vacay and left you and your bat wing arms dangling behind. It frustrates me immensely and leaves me scratching my beard. Although I love naughty food, it doesn’t seem to matter what I eat. I’ve tried changing the menu significantly, yet I still remain un-thin but with a serious hangryover. If I exercise, I get even hungrier, so I eat more and end up bumping up my calorie count to offset the activity increase.
Please don’t even mention salads. I like real people food. The only salads I enjoy are less like salads and more like bread-free sandwiches. The others with all veggies plus a side of more veggies never leave me satiated. Man cannot live on kale alone, and even if he (she) could, why would one ever want to try???
I will keep attending to my increasing presence of sasquatch chic body flair as I continue to strive for a way to solve my “how to achieve a healthier lifestyle by eating cheesecake” mystery. I know that I could maintain that approach if it was an option. Maybe I will give kale another try. Ha! Not! But I suppose that there are other veggies that I could purchase (yet again) and actually eat this time (ideally before they sprout mini-gardens of their own).
Thankfully I don’t have any major negative temptations in the house at the moment because it’s Halloween and every person in America gives out celery and protein powder. Also the holidays are quickly approaching, and that’s always a great time to shed the excess fluff.
Despite my snark, I do need to figure out a way to get motivated. I may be able to pick up Thor’s hammer, but I think the real challenge is going to be putting down Jo’s fork. Sigh.
Lentils and lettuce always – Joanna
Momentum of Joy 
Nov 01, 2017 @ 00:53:01
Oh dear- yes, when I look at myself in the bathroom with my reading glasses on, I see a whole different ‘me’, with waaaay more wrinkles & hairs than I expect! *sighs
Nov 01, 2017 @ 05:38:01
My mother has one of those super magnifying mirrors. Whenever she gets that thing out in my presence, I run for the hills! I don’t need a close up of the madness! 😂😂😂
Nov 01, 2017 @ 14:41:07
hahaha
Nov 01, 2017 @ 01:28:28
Would Yoga be an option for you 🙂 🙂 🙂
Nov 01, 2017 @ 05:39:52
It has been before, and I loved it when I did it. I need to stop making excuses and find a few minutes a day to do this. No matter how busy I am, I can take five or ten minutes somewhere to do that. That’s a brilliant suggestion. ❤️
Nov 01, 2017 @ 13:50:34
I love Yoga always made me feel good…glad to help 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊☺☺☺
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:40:44
❤️
Nov 08, 2017 @ 15:52:42
I hope your ok Jo
Nov 08, 2017 @ 16:11:39
My beard and I are all good. 😘🤗
Nov 01, 2017 @ 05:50:10
I hate those feelings. I try to suppress them with a cookie. Don’t forget to remind yourself what you have accomplished in these past X amount of years and that what you have is attained a higher level, not a higher age. Kale is gross, I’ll stick with broccoli!
Nov 01, 2017 @ 05:55:53
You are my sister. I am certain of it! 🤗😂
Nov 01, 2017 @ 06:32:47
Oh young me- you have no idea!!!! On same wave length as thinking my post today will be of similar quality…..on the plus side- you look amazing, no matter what age you are. And don’t forget -you are a norse God
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:05:38
It’s true. Not everyone can wield this hammer quite like we can. 😉
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:15:31
So true……😉
Nov 01, 2017 @ 07:02:43
Get ready girl! I’m blazing the trail ahead of you by a couple of decades. The number is not the problem, it’s the wear and tear of all those fun years of living. Here is a cute video, you need to watch.
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:04:29
I LOVE that video! That lady is one of my favs. ❤️
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:09:39
Not sure why it says anonymous? I posted it. Guess I missed a blank. Thought the syste, knew me. Karla Stimach
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:19:25
I figured that it was you! ❤️😘
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:25:05
Oh, Jo. I love your humor. And I won’t comment on anything else. I have faith you can do what you want to do!
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:26:16
You just like me for my sexy facial hair. That’s ok. I am pretty irresistible. 😂😂😂❤️
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:38:02
Facial hair be sexy if trimmed well. *wink!
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:52:08
lol
Nov 01, 2017 @ 08:48:12
Thank you for such an honest portrayal of aging. Yeah the facial hair is a b (rhymes with witch). I agree with you on kale. I know it’s all the rage but it’s yucky! I went grey very early so thank goodness for Lady Clairol.
Nov 01, 2017 @ 09:17:03
I still remember the day I found the first surprisingly long hair sprouting from precisely the middle of my chin! Shock horror! Nobody told me this was going to start happening! Now, if I could grow a big bushy beard (or ideally a full body glossy fur…I’d dye it purple or red…so awesome!), I think I could totally rock that look but the wispy single hair here and there, not so imposing… Do yours also seem to appear fully grown every time? It’s a mystery, I keep an eye on them, examine my face (reluctantly), there’s nothing, nothing, nothing growing until bam! A few centimeters of hair appears overnight. How?? Also have faith my cosmic twin, we WILL find a way to stay thin while eating cake one day. I’m sure of it. The scientists are working on it as we speak! And if they aren’t, what is wrong with them?!
Nov 01, 2017 @ 10:20:38
Yes! I get mad at my husband for not telling me because I feel like it’s impossible for him to have missed seeing the hair on my face. (But if I can’t see it, I’m not sure why I expect him to be able to see it!) I think that they are secretly appearing overnight. One day – no hair. A day later – poof – I’m a freaking wolf.
Nov 01, 2017 @ 10:30:54
You can delete that second, more or less the same, comment. Something funny is going on with my wordpress today, it looked for a moment like the first one’s gone missing, not just that it was unmoderated by you, gone altogether, so I wrote the second one, but clearly you got both of them 🙂 And I know! I keep telling my partner to keep a lookout for the hair as well, but he only sees them at the same time as me, when they’re fully grown??!
Nov 01, 2017 @ 10:42:48
😂
Nov 01, 2017 @ 11:12:34
Getting older has got nothing going for it. I think its purpose must be the destruction of the ego – it certainly does a good job of that!
Nov 07, 2017 @ 15:34:30
It is also destroying my pants options in my closet!!!! 😂😂😂
Nov 08, 2017 @ 06:31:27
That too! 😀
Nov 01, 2017 @ 11:46:12
You can do it! My boyfriend and I just switched to Paleo/ low-carb diet and we definitely cheat once a week with our diet but he’s already lost 20 pounds in three weeks! I could send you some recipes if you’d like
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:39:22
I would LOVE recipes!!! Yes please!!!
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:51:31
We just made this one recently:
Honey/Orange Chicken (instead of Panda’s Orange chicken)
Ingredients
1 chicken breast
2 oranges
1/2 tablespoon of garlic
1/2 tablespoon of fiber
3 tablespoons of coconut aminos (this replaces soy sauce)
2 tablespoons of honey
Green onions (if desired)
Red flakes (if desired)
Chili paste (if desired)
Cut the chicken into small pieces and fry in a pan. Once the outsides are fully cooked (maybe a little browned) add in garlic and ginger. Let that simmer together for 2-3minutes then add is sauce (squeezed orange juice, coconut aminos, and honey [and chili paste if desired]). Let that simmer on low until sauce thickens.
Serve over rice and top it with cooked green onions 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
We love it
Nov 08, 2017 @ 16:37:18
Who is a bad ass?? That would so be YOU!!!! Thank you so very much! Copying to clipboard right now…
Nov 08, 2017 @ 18:24:20
Hahaha why thank you! This is probably one of my favorite recipes! Hope you enjoy it 🙂
Nov 01, 2017 @ 12:16:35
Girl you crack my shit up you are sooo funny! Put down the fork now Joanna do it now now now xxx
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:39:48
I just love the fork so very very much!!!! 😝
Nov 01, 2017 @ 13:46:56
Mummy bear what sparkly eyes you’ve got.
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:40:28
The better to see my beard when I comb it. 😂
Nov 01, 2017 @ 14:31:10
I can really relate. I can only loose and maintain weight loss when I eliminate carbs. I can do it, but it doesn’t seem to make life worth living.
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:42:15
Ha! I’ve said that before, too! If life must be lived without carbs, why bother? But…I actually have taken carbs waaaay down over the last few days and (miraculously) it appears that I’m still aaaand (even more miraculously) I’m not angry at the world! Shock. Awe. 😉
Nov 08, 2017 @ 12:47:06
Good job!
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:49:48
Yes but let’s see what I sound like one more week into this… 😂
Nov 08, 2017 @ 14:23:43
The beginning is the hardest. You’ll be fine!
Nov 08, 2017 @ 16:11:48
❤️🤗❤️
Nov 02, 2017 @ 12:41:10
You do make me laugh lol X
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:42:42
Damn. I was going for sexy. 😂😂😂
Nov 02, 2017 @ 21:47:48
https://www.bodygroove.com/videos.html Now this looks fun… She has a free video, that is what I’m starting with, no big buck programs for me! What do ya think??? So a little hair on the face, that’s why there is Nair for the face! Batwings, who cares, if they bother you, wear cap sleeves. All better! I’ll have a slice of cheesecake too! ~Kim
Nov 08, 2017 @ 13:46:29
Ha! Yes to all of that!!! I went ahead and got a gym membership aaaaagain. I’m thinking (hoping) (praying) that this will stick because I am taking my oldest kid with me. He could use a little gym time as well, and that’s a good mama motivator. Fingers and toes crossed!
Nov 08, 2017 @ 14:27:20
Yay!
Nov 11, 2017 @ 06:24:30
I can relate. It sounds like you might like the ketogenic diet/lifestyle. Salads like sandwiches without the bread all day long. And it works.
Nov 11, 2017 @ 07:47:04
I have been dropping the carbs over the last week or two. My weight hasn’t changed but I find that I don’t have that monster energy crash in the middle of the day. I’m still tired, but it’s tons better.
Nov 11, 2017 @ 08:27:27
That’s great! I’ve found it helpful, too. Giving up wine was even more helpful but not much fun, sadly. I’m still waiting for the AMA study that touts wine as the new super food. Or super liquid, I guess.
Nov 11, 2017 @ 08:58:06
Yes. I think that your wine study will come out right after my cheesecake study comes out. 😂😂😂