If I had a dollar for the number of times I wanted to know how to make a peduncle… (I would have zero dollars.)***
I was once fluent in conversational Spanish, but it’s been years since I needed to speak it regularly. Consequently I pop over to Google and use their translator every now and then. I was reminded today why that was comically dangerous to do after reading an instructional booklet from a box of modelling clay that I purchased for my daughter. In case you were seeking best practices for modelling clay usage, look elsewhere. If you were wondering where to find proof that computers don’t have it all figured out yet, here you go. I wanted to list my favorites, but I found myself laughing at all of them. Maybe # 6. Or # 1. Or # 8. Honestly I don’t know. They are each epic in their own way.
Side note on # 8 above – I was disappointed to read that my child could not make an actual ashtray but was relieved to confirm that she could make something that had the appearance of an ashtray. I guess her dreams won’t be entirely shattered.
I have to give them full credit on the example above. This really is the cutest little cock I’ve ever seen.
Stop. It. Now.
At this point I am considering looking up the specific manufacturer online just so I can find out what else they sell that might come with an instruction manual. We could cancel our cable and sit around reading these for entertainment instead. This pack of clay may be the best $10 I ever spent in my life – 14 pages of pure global economy gold.
***Per Google – pe·dun·cle (noun) – the stalk bearing a flower or fruit, or the main stalk of an inflorescence******
******I don’t even understand that in actual English.
Hasta luego. Joanna
This post is dedicated to my soul sister Kirsten – my favorite grammar nerd. You are the first person I wanted to send this post to. I also enjoyed ending that last sentence with the word “to” just for the sake of messing with you. 😉
Momentum of Joy 
Aug 01, 2017 @ 17:32:47
hahahahaha Google Translate…When i need something translated from English to Dutch that is when I am on the floor laughing!! If you haven’t seen the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and Idris Elba where they are singing songs that were google translated YOU MUST I could not stop laughing Joooooo!!!!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 16:37:37
Googling NOW!!!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 17:40:44
🙂
Aug 01, 2017 @ 16:44:55
I was in tears girl. My husband and I were falling out laughing. Fallon is such a nut.
Aug 01, 2017 @ 16:45:54
I told you!!! Hysterical hahahhahha that’s the one that had me on the floorrrrr hahahahahahhahahahhha
Aug 01, 2017 @ 16:45:25
Now he’s walking around singing “I’ll place kindness on you.”
Aug 01, 2017 @ 16:48:02
I cant stop laughing!!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 17:08:50
😂😂😂
Aug 01, 2017 @ 18:25:19
The Fallon thing is funniest skip I’ve seen…..my daughter is obsessed
Aug 01, 2017 @ 17:28:32
And we also watch the shows where he does the Sara show Ew. Fallon cracks all of us up.
Aug 01, 2017 @ 18:30:28
Have you ever watched James cordon carpool karaoke?
Aug 01, 2017 @ 17:34:02
Is that the one where he sang in the car with Adele? My favorite karoake is the one where Joseph Gordon Levitt (dreamy sigh) did the Nicki Minaj song. It was years ago but it was so good. I still watch it every now and then just for grins.
Aug 01, 2017 @ 17:47:54
That’s one of them. There really fun if you music
Aug 01, 2017 @ 23:19:28
HI!! Yes, I thought it was hysterical.
Aug 02, 2017 @ 00:31:48
foodzesty, THANK YOU for mentioning the Fallon/Elba Google Translate bit. I just played it and I’m dying laughing here! Many thanks!!! ❤️
Aug 02, 2017 @ 00:54:56
Hi!!! ahhh your welcome. It’s soooo funny. I am glad you enjoyed it. Its nice to have a really good laugh sometimes. My name is Sophie 🙂
Aug 02, 2017 @ 03:46:02
Hi Sophie, I’m Linda. I am still laughing. Like Nel, I love Idris Elba so this was doubly fun!
Aug 02, 2017 @ 06:28:18
Idris Elba is yummy. (I just felt that it was important that someone officially note that here.) 😂😂😂
Aug 02, 2017 @ 07:32:05
Well that was a given! I hope he’s the new Bond..
Aug 02, 2017 @ 08:04:58
I thought that was a done deal. Is is not? 00babe
Aug 03, 2017 @ 21:59:45
It is??? That’s the best news I’ve heard all day!
Aug 04, 2017 @ 07:26:33
Sad news – my husband said it’s not done at all and that Daniel Craig is doing one more. Craig can’t stand that role, but he is very good. Maybe we can form a petition and go door to door to demand that Idris be hired for the next one though. I call dibs on delivering the petition to Idris!!!! 😍 💋 😍 😂😂😂
Aug 04, 2017 @ 11:42:18
Haha! While you are spending lots of time with him, I’ll get way more signatures and he’ll love me more in the end! Mwahahahaha
Aug 04, 2017 @ 13:11:59
See – that was straight up funny. Best. Response. Ever!!!
Aug 02, 2017 @ 08:31:51
Hi Linda. I actually went into youtube this morning and watched it again. Me tooooo major fan of Idris :). He has such a great sense of humor. 🙂
Aug 02, 2017 @ 08:06:30
Pls tell me that you also searched for Joseph Gordon Levitt lip sync Nicki Minaj. Please. It’s so so so so good. Also it’s so good. 😁
Aug 02, 2017 @ 09:38:08
I saw that on Lip Sync a few months ago, I fell off the couch…He was brilliant as Nicki Minaj
Aug 03, 2017 @ 22:00:17
He does! His acting is great, too. Loved him in Luther.
Aug 04, 2017 @ 08:57:28
Hi, Yes I saw him in Luther…He was fantastic!!! He’s now playing in the new Steven King movie but I don’t really watch movies of this sort. I am more of a romantic comedy, comedy, action adventure. Documentary sort of person. 🙂
Aug 04, 2017 @ 15:01:22
Yeah, I’m not much of a horror fan, either. Even if Stephen King does live fairly close by. I might watch it just for Idris, though! 😉
Aug 04, 2017 @ 14:09:17
You both have to stop before you say something terrible that you won’t be able to take back like “I don’t even like The Shining.” I can handle a great deal in this life, but that will break my heart beyond repair. Just lie to me on this one girls. 😱😱😱. (😂)
Aug 04, 2017 @ 15:15:32
I heard he is really good in the movie. But with everything that has happened this past weekend I just can’t watch a horror movie. I watched Jimmy and Idris again because it just took my mind off of things….
Aug 04, 2017 @ 14:31:26
Stay with the light stuff. Turn off the other if it’s bringing you down. Big hugs to you lovebug.
Aug 06, 2017 @ 13:46:54
Hey Jo, I did and still love The Shining, 🙂
Aug 06, 2017 @ 14:41:33
Very good and yes! Lol
Aug 01, 2017 @ 20:27:57
Too many funny things in here to even try to bring them up. And I feel awful because I acted like a 13 year old boy when you said cock. How awful am I?
Incidentally, peduncle is my new favorite word… when you break it down PED UNCLE… as in walking uncle! LOL
Aug 01, 2017 @ 21:30:56
The whole thing was so over the top. I have it in my desk now just so I can look at it when I’m bummed. My sister said “no good can come from using the word cock on any kid toy advertising EVER.” It made me laugh, too. I couldn’t help making the joke in there. It was just so over the top and the instructions – I mean seiously – who wrote these? Google is failing the planet if this is when we are on the translation front. Then again, it was awesome so maybe I should put this in the solid win category!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 21:34:03
Sounds like a win. Maybe that friend of Google’s wrote it. What’s her name… Alexa?
Aug 01, 2017 @ 22:07:03
I love Alexa. She hoses stuff up constantly, but we call her Echo in our house. I have a firm rule about being the main bossy woman announcing things here. ***there are two miniature female exceptions to the rule here though, but both have legs and 50% of my genes
Aug 01, 2017 @ 22:44:40
those seem like good exceptions. Besides there’s no unplug switch there… with Alexa / Echo, you can turn her off whenever you want!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 22:51:14
Good luck with that! (me saying that to my husband!)
Aug 01, 2017 @ 21:31:38
And yes – peduncle??? Wtf??? I wasn’t sure if it was a real word!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 21:34:22
it’s a real world but I had a TOTALLY different definition for it.
Aug 01, 2017 @ 22:08:11
By chance do you watch Silicon Valley? I hope so because if you do, that made me think of Jared’s uncle’s game. It was such a hysterical line.
Aug 01, 2017 @ 22:45:34
I do not! I will have to check that one out… i’ve heard of it at least
Aug 01, 2017 @ 22:52:28
It’s crass but tech clever and plain funny. Smart misfits trying to survive the mess of it all. I always love a good misfit. Can’t imagine why! 😉
Aug 01, 2017 @ 22:53:56
Ha. No comment!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 23:08:11
I was so praying this was your involuntary peeing post. Hahahaha!!!
Aug 01, 2017 @ 23:18:25
Hello friend
Aug 01, 2017 @ 23:42:20
🙂
Aug 04, 2017 @ 22:11:50
Good morning
Aug 02, 2017 @ 07:07:56
Not just Spanish … On a recent bank statement I found the following translations: Spanish, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Tagalog, Russian, Arabic, French/Haitian Creole, French, Polish, Portuguese, Italian, Japanese, German, and Persian-Farsi. Be glad your directions weren’t in Persian-Farsi !!!??? Cute post, as always. Jan
Aug 02, 2017 @ 08:56:35
Translation errors are just plain funny. I can’t help but laugh.
Aug 02, 2017 @ 08:09:14
I have to share the description of a Chipping Sparrow on this site: https://throughopenlens.com/2017/08/01/next-time-i-am-wearing-green/#like-3746
It shows the loveliness of our native language. It is worth a look. I promise. Jan
Aug 02, 2017 @ 19:37:39
I accidentally blew up my site today so I apologize for taking forever to respond! It’s still in semi-blow up mode so this may be the way it is for a couple of days. Anyhoo I looooved that site! Beautiful share. I’m so glad that you sent that to me! Thank you so very much Jan!
Aug 02, 2017 @ 08:40:42
Cutest cock you’ve ever seen…made me giggle! LOL
Aug 02, 2017 @ 19:38:38
It was tacky but it made me laugh. I couldn’t resist.
Aug 02, 2017 @ 11:16:47
This was some fun read. I just kept on laughing. Made my day lighter.😄😄😄😄
Aug 02, 2017 @ 11:20:18
Wasn’t it ridiculous? I love the toxic advice paragraph and the instructions on how kids below 5 can do operations.