Ten points redeemable at absolutely nowhere to whomever names the owner of that mouth!
I’m going to do it. It’s best if I lead with this so we can avoid any assumptions to the contrary. Based on past history, it is a statistical inevitability. I can recite all of the reasons why I shouldn’t, and I recognize that this standoff with my husband is not going to end well this weekend. Please note that I’m not aiming to make him mad. Rather I’m trying to figure out how to win him over to my point of view on the proper course of action in this scenario. (Reality check – There is zero chance of my convincing him.)
Okay. Here’s the situation. My parents went away for a week’s vacation. No no no. Not that.
So I had hand surgery two days ago, yes? Yes. And the bandage / wrap should stay on my hand for one full week before the doc checks it, and then he will wrap it again for one more additional week until the stitches come out, yes? Yes.
I prefer to see these as wise suggestions from a well-paid guy in a white coat with a knife. My husband sees this as professional advice that must be followed to avoid problems after surgery. Silly man! And this is where the divergence in our approaches comes into the picture. The impending blowup draws closer…
Me: “Argh! This wrap is driving me crazy. I’m going to take it off and put a large waterproof band-aid over it instead.”
Him (comforting and calm): “Don’t mess with it. The doctor said to leave it alone for two weeks.”
Me (ever so casual): Yes, I heard that as well… But you see…it’s been two days and that’s practically same thing as two weeks.
Him (quickly moving from calm and supportive to irritated): I’m not going to debate this with you.
Me (even more chill and smooth like buttah): Oh me neither. I’m just going to remove it a little bit.
Him (advancing past irritated and heading toward mad): Noooo. Don’t touch it.
Me: It’s no biggie. I can do this. It’s easy.
Him (steely): No. You’re not.
Me (less casual): Hmmmm.
Him (staring at me and waiting yet saying nothing): …
Me (looking back and responding but only in my mind): (oh yes I am)
Him (in his mind): (NO YOU’RE NOT)
Me (in my double secret probation mind): (OH YES I AM!!!)
This knife has cut more than a tin can and a tomato.
I’m not saying that he is wrong. (He’s wrong!) And I’m not saying that I’m right. (I’m right!) I’m just saying that I have had a dozen surgeries since I was a teenager (mainly operations on my joints), and I have played this unwaiting game every time. See the knife in the picture? It has been used for slicing bread and removing casts (plural) from my ankles. My tweezers have plucked eyebrows as well as stitches. I never make it to the follow-up appointments because I have yet to become a big enough grown up to just leave whatever it is alone. You’re welcome orthopedic surgeons for all that messy post op time I saved you.
Noooo I don’t really think he is wrong, and yeeees I know that the doctor gave specific instructions for my benefit.
But it’s iiiiitchy! And funky. And then back to itchy. And then back to funky. It bothers me immensely. It pesters me, and I fidget with it constantly. I have shoved cotton gauze under the edges. I’m about to harvest a truckload of aloe off my patio to get it to calm down. But then the increasing invisible germ element comes back into my mind and bleh it grosses me out even more!
I doubt that I will make it through the day with this thing. If that is the case, he will be furious (out of genuine concern for my welfare), and I will act like I don’t notice the steam coming out of his ears for the two-ish days that follow (because I’m a stubborn bonehead and I warned him that I would do this).
That’s all I have to say on this for now. I must run to take care of other things. For starters, I need to see what kinds of large bandages we have in the medicine cabinet. Totally unrelated of course. I just need to check…
Help me Mick!
I can’t get no satisfaction either!
Momentum of Joy 
Jul 29, 2017 @ 13:57:43
I’m with your husband.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 14:01:47
Well would y’all pick up some big waterproof bandages while you’re out together.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 15:07:17
You made laugh! I have this feeling in my water ALL your Followers are with hubby
Jul 29, 2017 @ 14:09:26
(I’m sure you’re right!) (And my mom and aunt will probably call me soon after they this to yell at me, too!)
Jul 29, 2017 @ 14:00:42
I think we need to lock you in a closet for 2 weeks… I’m with him on this one. Sorry! 🙂
That said, I do understand your predicament. Find a compromise. Or just do it, don’t tell him, and then blame him later if something goes wrong by saying if he’d let you take it off, the problem would not have happened.
I think I said that properly. Should be some logic to use/throw away.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 14:04:43
The problem is that he knows me too well. I’m surprised that he is even bothering to try to talk me out of it. Of course he’s correct on this, but I’m more of a pain in the behind than he is right. It’s an uneven match.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 20:59:46
Sending healing hugs. Your spunk is what I love about you! Be kind to him and be kinder to yourself please. xo
Jul 29, 2017 @ 20:38:51
🤗🤗🤗🤗
Jul 29, 2017 @ 20:39:00
And thank you! 😘
Jul 29, 2017 @ 22:03:25
I totally agree with your husband’s logic. He is completely correct. Your doctor is completely correct. However, if I were you, I’d do the same damned thing you are about to do/have already done. IF he succeeds in convincing you to follow doctor’s orders (he won’t) would Benedryl or something like that help with the itchiness? There must be something you can take.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 21:11:19
I think Benadryl would probably help but maturity and self control would help even more. At least I have Benadryl! Ha!
Jul 30, 2017 @ 01:19:41
Ugh, I’m sorry it’s so itchy and annoying! That kind of thing always is … but listen to your doctor… You don’t want to risk infection by messing with it!! 😦
Jul 29, 2017 @ 19:37:22
Lalalalalalala. (Hands over my ears)
Jul 29, 2017 @ 19:37:41
😂😂😂
Jul 30, 2017 @ 02:41:52
I understand, I’m the woman who took off a 24 hour arm band that measured blood pressure for a good old scratch……. we all know that you shouldn’t but I have a feeling you might 🙄
Jul 30, 2017 @ 05:40:37
(did) (done) (and not even a little sorry about it!!!)
Jul 30, 2017 @ 06:11:09
Go girl, go girl , love your spirit 🙈🙊🐵
Jul 30, 2017 @ 06:27:52
Hahahaha!! Celebrate the dysfunction!! Lol
Jul 30, 2017 @ 08:08:20
It’s good to not be a follower 😊👍
Jul 30, 2017 @ 07:09:50
(usually)
Jul 30, 2017 @ 08:11:42
It’s not gone green has it 😳😬
Jul 30, 2017 @ 08:03:43
Nope! (I so adore you!)
Jul 30, 2017 @ 11:08:17
Just like you, I’m an acquired taste 😉
Jul 30, 2017 @ 11:19:22
🤗🤗🤗
Jul 30, 2017 @ 13:51:08
PRECIOUS, MoJo !! I think you and your husband argue quite agreeably. I found the non-confrontation so cute … Loved the inside the head meanings. thanks for the giggle. jan
Now … do what the doctor says. : )
Jul 30, 2017 @ 14:13:39
(too late!). 😂😂😂
Jul 31, 2017 @ 06:42:17
hhahahahha Oh yes, I am with your hubby on this!!
Jul 31, 2017 @ 06:47:03
Too late!!! Lol
Jul 31, 2017 @ 12:48:29
You didnt!!! You took off the bandage by yourself?
Jul 31, 2017 @ 06:54:22
Did. That was a cake walk compared to removing a cast! At least this one only needed scissors. 😂 (Can you even imagine what it must be like to live with a lunatic like me? My husband spends hours each day just shaking his head and rolling his eyes at my endless nonsense!) 😉
Jul 31, 2017 @ 08:05:45
🙂 I cant believe you took it off. It was itching because its getting betterrrrrr. I found a post of yours but I cant seem to find it now, about twitter accounts. I am on twitter its @sophie19621 you will see foodzesty. 🙂
Jul 31, 2017 @ 08:24:44
Your crepe bandage is put horribly. Secondly ask your hubby to remove it carefully making a video so that he can re wrap it the same way. Simple
Jul 31, 2017 @ 08:18:59
It was bandanged better before I started fidgeting with it. The pic didn’t do it justice since it was post-Jo.