Even the expression on her face looks like she wants to smack you!
There is a not so fine line between being a supportive parent and allowing your young kid to have a game profile pic akin to a dominatrix. Despite serious odds to the contrary, I was able to maintain my emotionless game face when my daughter gleefully showed me this “pretty new matching outfit” her avatar was wearing today. Given that she typically opts for flowers and butterflies in the fashion world of gaming, I recognized that there must have been a specific reason for this choice. I paused momentarily before responding to allow all of the “you forgot the leash” and “no self respecting s&m wench would wear that flower headband without a complementary spike collar” type of comments to exit my mind in lieu of exiting my mouth. Not that she would have understood anyway, but even I have to draw the parental standards line somewhere.
Once the wise crack responses ceased running through my brain, I allowed my out loud voice to kick in. I asked her nonchalantly, “So what is it about this dress that you like?” She said that she wanted to look tougher because several people were teasing her about her babyish and girly profile name.
Boooooo!!!
At that point, I, too, wanted to bust out a tougher outfit and kick some avatar butt. Nevertheless I couldn’t permit an S&M response as we aren’t going for Fifty Shades of MoJo in this house. I calmly but directly explained that the dress and boots she had chosen were not appropriate for her age even if it was just a game. I told her that she had to find another outfit that was more suitable. She wasn’t pleased but it wasn’t earth shattering either, and she left to pick select something else.
And then returned with this little number…
This pasty boxy babe is effectively a mannequin displaying the clothing one can select.
Nooooooo.
I’m not going to allow an avatar with a skirt cut up to her hoo-hah either. Seriously Roblox. Stop. It.
I responded less nonchalantly this time. I wasn’t angry, but I wasn’t playing anymore either. There are other categories of clothing beyond frilly / girly and hoochie / biker wench. Pick another outfit.
And this was her final choice…
It struck me as rather unusual but perhaps she was aiming for a Richard Simmons kind of look.
I have always loved that guy. I can’t help but appreciate anyone who owns who he is through and through while also sharing humor and hope. Not too shabby Richard. You go boy! Ultimately that was the ensemble her character donned.
I know that this is a game, but are these really the kinds of options my kids are given? Seriously?
I frequently wake my kids up on school days by cranking up “Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys or “Hypnotize” by Notorious B.I.G.. They are the clean versions, but I do feel like Amazon and I have seriously different takes on what the word clean means.
At what point did I become the stuffy parent? I typically don’t sweat the small stuff (nor do I Sweat to the Oldies even though I think that Richard Simmons seems like a sweetheart), but I’m not digging the hooker avatar option. I don’t want to raise a princess (although she will always be one to me), but I’m not interested in this route either. It was yet another reminder that I really have to keep a close eye on what the kids are doing on their phones. It appears that I am going to have to whip them into shape before they start thinking that they need to do the same to someone else. Yikes.
Momentum of Joy 
Jul 19, 2017 @ 18:15:03
Hmm… I’m all outta thoughts on this one. Was thinking somewhere along the lines of they should make their own outfits with fabric, then you might get some insight…. but that could the seriously wrong way. And the childish part of me wanted to say “she said hoo-hah,” but I didn’t!!!
Jul 19, 2017 @ 18:48:15
Ok I literally laughed out loud when I read that last line. Thanks Beavis. Oh my heavens you are so very funny sometimes.
Jul 19, 2017 @ 18:15:44
It’s amazing to me how technology has become more risque even for the younger set. I’m glad you are such an amazing parent that you ask the questions that lead you to knowledge (like what her avatar is wearing and why) and that you can tell her what’s appropriate and what’s not. Scary stuff in this day and age. You’re a great parent! Keep it up and keep shining your light! And I like Richard Simmons too because he owns who he is! Isn’t that how we all should be? 🙂
Jul 19, 2017 @ 18:47:02
Ok I want to be all “yay me!” but the real dish is that I wouldn’t have know if she hadn’t gone out of her way to show off Dominatrix Barbie to me! This is what worries me. She was clueless, but what happens when they aren’t clueless? Ugh. I can’t even think about it! I bet Richard Simmons would know what to do. I so heart him. I feel like the snow monster who always loved Bugs Bunny. I’m the snow monster and I want to hug him and squeeze him and call him George. Sadly for me, he would probably just hug me and then make me work out.
Jul 19, 2017 @ 19:15:12
LOL – nah! Richard Simmons would hug you then demand you dance a jig with him to an oldies song and you’d be laughing and smiling from ear to ear! I think it’s great that she showed it to you as it was a good lesson for you both and a bonding experience. You’re teaching her all the right stuff! Keep it up.
Jul 19, 2017 @ 18:32:48
Most hysterical blog post I’ve read in weeks. Thanks for the belly laugh, Jo!
Jul 19, 2017 @ 18:42:46
That may be my favorite compliment EVER! I just wish I was making this crapola up! What is happening in my home and on my kids’ phones?!?!?!!? Lol
Jul 19, 2017 @ 22:14:34
Luckily, neither of my kids were ever into any games that offered such attire, but I do applaud you for taking the approach that you did! There does need to be a line…and far too often it is crossed without so much as a second thought…. Great read!!
Jul 19, 2017 @ 21:15:24
Thank you lovely!!
Jul 20, 2017 @ 12:36:12
😀 Tell me how does a parent maintain a straight face when presented with a dominatrix profile pic?
Jul 20, 2017 @ 13:12:18
Not easily but the pure shock helps out.
Jul 20, 2017 @ 13:11:21
Cute !! I think you handled the whole thing very well. It is a shame that these sweet babies are bombarded with things, situations, language, lifestyles, clothes, and games that are not age appropriate. I taught school for 37 years, and over that time it was frightening how worldly my students became every year !! Given the chance, though, my students loved playing real games, active games, running, skipping, hopping games … they just needed some instruction. I even taught them how to play jacks and how to yo-yo. You might think what in the world did you teach? I taught Drama for 18 years to grades five and six. We put on plays I wrote about U.S. History. Oh, and I also taught them to juggle … talk about over the top self-esteem when they succeeded in juggling scarves, bean bag balls, and rings !!! Again, you handled the whole thing well, Mom. Jan
Jul 20, 2017 @ 13:17:02
My son would have been perfect for your class!! He was telling his sisters the other day about how he could juggle. Unfortunately he said this in earshot of my husband and me so he went down in flames when asked to display. The problem is that throwing one ball is NOT juggling. And if you are going to say that it is, you must at a bare minimum catch that one ball!!!
I adore that you taught your students that kind of stuff. They actually turn on and tune in instead off the complete opposite that we see with the electronic games. I don’t mind the tech sometimes, but why do the games (even the kid games) have to be so over the top on every level?
Jul 20, 2017 @ 14:25:41
Go online and google how to juggle … there are some EXCELLENT tutorials there … your son and his Dad … or all three of you could learn. I think scarves are easier to start with … then the bean bag balls … don’t even think of rings. : )
Yes, my class was very popular with the boys. I enjoyed teaching them, too !! I frequently heard from students and parents that my class was the one time during the school day they could actually move, play, and do funny, silly things without getting in trouble !!! : ) Let me know if ya’ll do investigate juggling … he might even learn it quicker than Mom or Dad … then he could teach you … big shot in the arm for him. : )
Jul 20, 2017 @ 13:34:18
We all look for moments to say HA BOO-YAH! at each other whenever possible so I have no doubt that he would love it. It sounds dysfunctional, and it is. But it’s our dysfunction, we love it, and it makes us all laugh. 😉
Jul 20, 2017 @ 14:27:23
oops … than the bean bag balls … not then the bean bag balls !!
Jul 20, 2017 @ 13:34:58
Yes I was thinking that could be a hackey sack. Probably not a bad idea either though. 😉
Jul 22, 2017 @ 06:49:03
Tough parenting calls. We have the “hoochie mama” rule in our house…..that’s where I draw the line on clothes the dog, the dolls, the avatar and the daughter can wear. I ask her where she would see a real person wearing said outfit. And I make sure she stays out of my s&m closet…..
Jul 22, 2017 @ 08:25:52
I personally request that you lift that ban for the dog. The world needs more hoochie mama dog photos. This is your moment. Live that dream!!!
Jul 22, 2017 @ 14:47:52
I never thought of it like that! So much wisdom!
Jul 22, 2017 @ 16:04:16
Yes – dog clothing impropriety. Clearly I am wise. lol
Jul 22, 2017 @ 16:35:21
The perils of parenting! Thankfully your daughter had no idea what a dominatrix is! 🙂
Jul 22, 2017 @ 16:50:05
Giiiirl you’re not kidding! 😉
Jul 29, 2017 @ 02:11:23
Thank god I know nothing about all this Jo, seriously, is this what kids want and what is available to them???
Jul 29, 2017 @ 07:27:00
She doesn’t know about it either. She was clueless. And yes. You wouldn’t believe what is available to them. Shocking, isn’t it!?!
Jul 29, 2017 @ 07:57:42
Consider me shocked and fainted…. Get me the breathing salts. I am glad such stuff not reached indian shores,
Jul 29, 2017 @ 08:51:44
It has girl. I have no doubt.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 08:58:58
It may have on the Internet jo but not in the toy stores here, my sister will be shooting fire if my niece does something like this. Also, we are pretty much culture centric, soon my sister’s mother in law would teach her some shloks which is like prayers according to the hindu customs. If they don’t we will. The next 3 months August Sept Oct are the months of festivals, there would be only shloks in most houses during each festival. I would mail you the foto of my God when we celebrate it next month.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 09:35:11
Oh no – not in the toy stores. These are in the games on the phones and tablets.
Jul 29, 2017 @ 10:37:05
Oh…. No smart phones till they are 12 or so then with parental monitoring