Just Because You Say That Doesn’t Make It True


Flavor interpretation is highly subjective but my own taste buds would like to say this – Dutch Chocolate My @#&!

It feels to me like the only way that this could correctly be labeled as having a Dutch chocolate flavor is if they meant that it tastes like it has a hint of chocolate, and the rest is comprised of actual Dutch people.  And based on the taste, I’m guessing that it’s specifically Dutch feet.

I continue to try so hard to break my carboholism and sugar cravings.  However the bulk of the alternatives are highly unappealing to a Kraft Mac N Cheese connoisseur such as myself.  My eating preferences are so low rent that I am genuinely dismayed when I discover that we have selected a restaurant with a kid menu offering fancy macaroni.  Did we ask for truffle oil and homemade pasta?  No!  Bring out the box mac with the yellowy orange salt we have referred to as cheese since the dawn of time!!!  That rule does not apply to Red Robin or Luby’s.  We salute your mac.  High five to you!

It’s gotten to the point where I am hovering inches over my kids’ steaming plates of carby goodness so I can vacuum in the steam as I try desperately to chew the smells.  I then hand them their food sadly.  They take their plates from me with quizzical looks and eyebrows raised.  Then, just to spite me, they eat the food!  Okay it’s not spite.  They are just eating. But it feels spitey because I’m so damn hungry, and I’m totally salivating watching them gulp their food down as my own fork hovers immobile over my vegetables.  Can’t.  Eat.  Salad.

So I pay two thousand dollars (twenty) for a scoop of powder (it’s a big canister but still very pricey in my world), and that scoop tastes like feet (or what I imagine feet would taste like as I have yet to taste them personally).

The grand point I am trying to convey is this. This powder is el stinko grande and that bums me out.

I’m really really hungry, and I adore good naughty food – even the non-boxed non-preservative variety.  For now I may have to resort to cracking open a box of mac for the kids just so I can eat the smells again.  Perhaps I could hold a spoonful of steamy carby mac under my nose as I eat my veggies, and they will taste less like unhappiness.  I don’t know about that, but I am certain that I need to change my ways before my kids are old enough to figure out how to call the special home to take me away.

I would love any tips you can share if you have faced this food dilemma and defeated it.  If you were born a veggie fan, believe that tofu should be part of your daily meals, or include spectacular salads on your “Foods I Crave” list, I’m not asking you.  Don’t.  Even.  Try.  We still have the love, but you can’t possibly comprehend my anti-veg stance.  I was born this way.  I am a dyed in the wool carboholic.

So what do I do now?



7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wakinguponthewrongsideof50
    Jun 11, 2017 @ 17:44:12

    Smaller portions. I love everything!


    • MoJo
      Jun 11, 2017 @ 19:46:51

      I don’t really eat that much anymore. It’s like I’m playing chess with my body. I reduce calories and it wacks out my hormones. Checkmate. But I’m still going to keep trying! 🙂


  2. George
    Jun 11, 2017 @ 18:12:56

    You’re talking to a fellow carboholic so I know it’s difficult. I don’t have many tips there was a period of time I was 60-70 pounds overweight.
    But I LOVE bread, pasta, and most desserts. I suppose I learned, over time, how to eat differently. Smaller meals, smaller portions, exercise, etc.
    I don’t give up anything al all. I just moderate what I eat…and when. I try not to eat dinner after a certain hour and I made my larger meal at lunch instead of dinner.
    I found tricks that worked for me. It wasn’t one things but a combination of things.
    Everyone is different but I stopped trying to give things up and found ways to allow them I to my life in moderation.
    Good luck..:)


    • MoJo
      Jun 11, 2017 @ 20:49:46

      My husband said the same thing and I know that both of you are right. Clearly I’m never going to make a full conversion to the green side, and forcing it is just making me angry whenever I see veggies next to perfectly yummy everything else that I won’t allow myself to eat. Moderation. Using my brain. Moving my hiney. The basics. I need to be smarter about it, and getting mad doesn’t elp either. With all of that said, I still feel like that powder should have been labeled as Dutch feet flavor. 😉 I really do appreciate the advice though. I know it, but my brain needs to be reminded. Thank you so very much George. 🙂


  3. Elizabeth
    Jun 19, 2017 @ 11:59:38

    I love vegetables but I’m definitely NOT a healthy eater. Kraft Mac and Cheese? Nectar of the gods. Eating large amounts of chocolate has the same effect on the brain as sex and tastes better. My body type is beach ball on toothpicks. The only advantage I have is that I’m getting old and I don’t need to change because I’ll probably die soon anyway. Probably with a Hershey Bar in one hand and a wooden spoonful of Kraft in the other. With a smile on my face.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: