Momentum of Joy

It’s a real shame that Oprah has gone off the air because my darling children already have so much to tell her. Perhaps they should consider calling Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz.  The only available practitioner in this house is Dr. Jekyll and she has undoubtedly maxed out her Mrs. Hyde.

So we have had our home on the market since the beginning of time.  (***Time began a little over a year ago.)  We don’t (can’t) live in a show-ready home.  Despite our having enough laundry to keep everyone clothed for an extensive ark cruise, we don’t embrace the slovenly style of living.  With that said, we have three small children, a couple of sheepdogs, and two exhausted parents with full-time jobs (in addition to the full-time parenting gigs they have booked in perpetuity).

***Spoiler alert for those of you who don’t have kids and would neeeeever live in a messy home —>  You may not embrace the concept of living in an unkempt home and you may be severely OCD about keeping a clean organized house.  However that means jack squat when you have kids, dogs, and anything else added to that.

It takes ten minutes for my home to go from truly beautiful and immaculate to an indescribable disaster area.  Ok – I was being facetious about the ten minutes, but the parents out there already knew that.  It takes way less than ten minutes for the house to be shredded by children.  All we need is for a couple of the kids to come through the door with their family life paraphernalia (bags / gear / clothes / hair / dust) and then someone will sprinkle in that magical phrase we hear seven dozen times a day:  “I’m hungry.  What do we have to eat?”  Within seconds the food begins to fly. I don’t care what you serve.  It could be a cold cheese stick eaten bite by bite out of the plastic wrapper, and it will still find it’s way into every chair, floorboard, and scalp of anyone in the fallout zone.

And sweet cheese-its help me should anyone decide to brush their teeth.  You wouldn’t think that toothpaste could make it eight feet up a mirror, but it so does.  I have peeked in on the kids on multiple occasions with full certainty that I would catch them launching their toothbrushes to the heavens above, but no.  Somehow they have mastered angling their electric toothbrushes in just the right way to spray a fresh coat of toothpaste dots along the upper portions of the mirror while simultaneously missing their actual teeth.  It’s a wonder to behold.  But I digress.  Back to the tent…

Growing up, my sister and I would camp out in the backyard.  Nothing fancy obviously, but we lived in the city and this was the coolest in our world.  Fast forward a few (ahem – a whole bunch) more years, and now I have mini humans of my own.  I would love to let them camp outside, but our local critters are too wild and too prevalent and our fences are too short and too open (they are wrought iron with sizeable gaps).  Consequently I started letting them “camp” indoors a few years ago.  It was pure magic to them!  Until the past year.

This is a coyote strolling through our front yard a couple of months ago.

My husband took this shot of another one of our local fellows.  I love this pic!  Looks terrifying but this guy was actually YAWNING – really!!  Isn’t that hilarious??

Terrible shot, but I took this pic of this cottonmouth a few days ago.  Yet another reason why we camp INDOORS.

Although it takes under ten minutes to give the house that lived-in feel (a.k.a. turn it to embarrassing slob central), it takes more that two hours to get it looking pristine.  Admittedly a large portion of that is absolutely due to my OCD need for things to be precisely perfect.  Despite my awareness of this obsession, I can’t figure out what to not do because EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT EVERY SINGLE TIME.  (Because clearly – one year later – that approach has worked out so well for me and my crew.)

So sometimes the kids are allowed to live like normal healthy children who play and sleep in their rooms while friends visit and cheese sticks are eaten.  And sometimes we forbid additional visitors, only eat at restaurants, and then head home where I then force my kids to camp in the living room.  These poor kids have slept repeatedly in tents and on pallets and sofas over and over again based on potential upcoming showings.  It’s turned this fun activity into something they have to do since they aren’t permitted to live normally.

I know it sounds crazy.  In large part, I even know that it IS crazy.  The problem is that we don’t have several hours to spend cleaning every room in addition to finishing work and the countless other daily task that must be done.  The further complication is that sometimes we won’t get a showing for several weeks at a time.  It’s been a very weird market to say the least.  Sadly potential buyers often don’t grant us the courtesy of giving sufficient notice, so we are thrown into a mad scramble with the miniscule heads up we typically receive.  Although it would be nice, we just don’t have a show-ready life.

As I type this, my girls lay sleeping soundly in a little tent outside my office as my son snoozes on a little mattress on the ground a few feet over.  We had a showing earlier today, and although it supposedly went well, those buyers are just beginning their search.  Sigh.  The house is clean and I want to keep it that way as long as I can (until I throw in the towel and let the kids return back to their rooms as they should be able to do anyway).  (Keep in mind that the same towel I throw in will likely be the one I will have to pick right back up to clean the toothpaste off those freakin’ mirrors.)

I recognize that sleeping on sofas and in tents would be a dream for many around the world, so I do have some perspective on the first world nature of these issues.  Nevertheless our children have little rooms with beds that they love and find comfort in each night.  I’m genuinely grateful that they take it all in stride the way that they do, and I hope to find a way to show them my appreciation someday.  Maybe we can take them camping…  😉

***MoJo***

Side note – This isn’t a typical request from me, but this past year has proven to be anything but typical on many levels in my life.  If it’s your thing and you would feel comfortable doing so, I would truly appreciate any prayers or positive energy you could send our direction.  It is extremely difficult to ask your family to live like they are perpetually on display, and the stress is affecting us all.  It’s a beautiful house, but it isn’t our home anymore.  We are ready to release the worry, sell this house, and gladly hand over the keys to the family who is destined to find long-lasting happiness within these walls.  Thank you dear friends and kindred spirits.  Blessings to all of you.