Just Because

Or maybe you won’t get what you are asking for today because you are actually going to get something so much better tomorrow!  :)

Have a wonderful weekend dear friends.  I hope it is filled with love, joy, and laughter.  Blessings to you always.  Joanna

Can You Spare Any Change?

Photo Credit – FreeFoto.com

For the last few days, there was a bit of a standoff going on in my house.  Nothing major.  Just some irritation and frustration right under the surface (but of course, still there).  He did something that frustrated me.  And then I did something that frustrated him.  Of course it was all his fault (not really, no) and I was completely in the right (wrong).  So I didn’t need to back down on being irritated and had no intention of trying to reset the tone in the house.  Why should I?  I was right!

Has anybody else ever experienced this type of situation before?  If you said no, I would advise you to find the nearest fire extinguisher because the odds are high that your lyin’ pants are seriously on fire!  ;)  Most of us have done this many times in our lives.  We get hurt or upset, but we can’t or won’t find a way to effectively deal with the problem right away.  And then we stew about the situation and the irritation festers.  It takes on a heaviness that is impossible to ignore, even if you are fake smiling your way through it.

So how do we change it?  Do we wait until the other person lets us know how right we really were all along?  (That could be a very long wait.)  Do we just allow it to go away unacknowledged so we don’t have to deal with it?  (You still carry it within you even if you aren’t focused on it every moment of the day.)  Or do we just hope that the other person will change for the better?  (This feels like an impractical plan.)

I mulled over all of these ideas as I continued to dwell on my irritation.  Ultimately I decided that I needed a little spiritual intervention and asked for guidance to help me out.  And this is what I heard (in my head – that’s how I hear everybody’s guardians including my own).

MoJo – “I am mad, and I am tired of feeling this way.  How do I make this go away?”

Guidance – “You are the only person you can change.”

MoJo – “Yeah I know that.  But let’s remember that I was right (not) and he was wrong (also incorrect).  I don’t need to change.”

Guidance – “You are the only person you can change.”

MoJo – “Grrrrr!  Did you not hear the part about my being the one who was right???”

Guidance – “You made mistakes, too, but let that go.  What can you do to fix this?”

MoJo – “Okay maybe I will concede that a teeny tiny (massive) part of the situation was my fault.  But he started it.”  Yes I turn into a petulant child, and my guardian angels seem to roll their eyes as needed.

Guidance – “You know you can talk this through.  This doesn’t have to be a difficult situation.”

MoJo – “But I am still kinda mad, and I don’t think we can have an effective conversation if I am annoyed.”

Guidance – “Speak with kindness, be gentle, and be genuine.”

MoJo – ….mulling it over….imagining scenarios and conversations and outcomes….starting to agree that I was being a bonehead….”I can do that.  I can change how I am moving through the situation.  I can change.”

And I did.  I waited until we could talk quietly and in a comfortable setting.  The situation didn’t warrant the level of emotional stress that we had given it.  Having the discussion felt like we were rebooting the day.  Everything felt lighter, easier and happier.  Although we had created the problem together, I was the person who needed to initiate the change.

If you don’t like a situation, try to find a different way to move through it.  Don’t wait for the other person to suddenly understand exactly what you need or for the situation to resolve itself.  I recognize that it isn’t always easy, and sometimes can even be wildly difficult, but you still have to start with you – always.  Maybe it means that you are the person to start the conversation, you stop enabling bad behavior, you establish appropriate boundaries, or you start to be honest with yourself about what is important to you.  This is your life, so make it an amazing and wonderful one.  Break the patterns that do not serve you.  Speak your truth with kindness, love and a gentle spirit.

You are the only person you can change.  What a wonderful gift!

Patience

The following entry was written by my wonderful friend Bennett Michael Roberts.  This is the first guest blog post I have ever published, and it is a goodie.  Enjoy!  :)  Joanna

Patience

“Be patient!”  The very phrase takes a person back to childhood.  How many times did our parents command us in this manner?  How many times do we now say this to our young ones?  The need for patience is a thread that runs through our lives, but how many of us have taken the time to ponder what it really is?

The dictionary and web provide us with various definitions for patience.  One says “the will or ability to wait or endure without complaint”.  Another calls it “the state of endurance during difficult circumstances.”  Yet another description says “persevering in the face of delay or provocation, without annoyance, anger, or negativity.”

It seems that in all cases, there is an antagonist, a person or situation, who is delaying you or causing hardship.  And if you are patient, then you “take it”.  You endure and remain emotionally non-reactive (at least by exterior appearances.)

But what if you aren’t patient?  What if you do react to a delay, or to a perceived roadblock?  You’ll feel annoyed.  You may experience verbal outbursts.  You may feel agitated and restless.  You succumb to impatience, and resist that which already is.  And you already know what resistance causes…it causes suffering.

How has this happened?  How have you transformed from a person driving home after work into a road-raging lunatic spewing profanities at other drivers?  Or maybe you’re interrupting someone’s talking, interjecting your comments and assertions, because the other is taking too long to get to the point, or just doesn’t get something.  Impatience can manifest in a thousand different ways, both large and small.

You’ve gotten to this point and are experiencing impatience due to a lack of awareness.

Photo Credit – ConflictDynamics.org

If you are fully present in the current moment, then you are content and at peace.  You are not resisting.  Your ego is not judging and criticizing.  You are experiencing the moment, the now, just as it is.  You accept and absorb.  You are self-aware.  You are patient.

But humans are not perfect, and with the possible exception of a few highly enlightened masters, people can and will become impatient.

So how do you turn this around?  What actions can you take when you feel yourself getting edgy and annoyed?

If you feel impatience coming on, just stop whatever it is you are doing.  Take some deep breaths and try to re-center yourself.  Close your eyes.  Focus on your breathing and try to clear your mind.  Or you may wish to fixate on a specific object to help filter out any distractions.

Now these actions may be difficult to accomplish in certain situations.  If may be difficult to break away from a conversation, and you certainly don’t want to take your eyes off the road if you’re driving.  So you may only be able to accomplish part of the above.  But that’s okay, whatever you can do is a great first step.

After you’ve calmed a bit and feel somewhat centered, look inside yourself and be “The Watcher”, the neutral observer of your own psyche.  Try to identify what caused your impatience or negativity.  It might be one thing, or it could be a combination of items.  Whatever it is, just silently and calmly observe your mental activity.

No ask yourself some questions.  Have you been judging others?  Have you been labeling the situation?  How did your ego or pain-body contribute to your feelings of impatience?  Chances are good there is some of this going on within you, and it probably developed unconsciously.  It so very easy to slip into pre-programmed behavior, some of which may have originated way back in the childhood years.

Next, remind yourself to be vigilant for triggers at all times.  The triggers for the old or unpleasant behavior can be diverse – a situation, a certain phrase, even a song that was playing during a past negative experience.  Contemplate these deeply, and realize they have no power over you.

Also, recall the “impermanence of all things”.  Things change in your life every single moment. People come and people go.  You change jobs.  You make new friends and watch loved ones die.  But all events and points in time pass, and your eternal presence continues.  The nature of your physical existence is finite, ever-changing, and unpredictable.  But the deep underlying nature of your being is infinite, peaceful, and joyful.  Your true self is patient, and by allowing awareness to permeate your human existence, you become patient, and much more.

Practice meditation and self-reflection on a daily basis.  Remember to breathe deeply.  Allow your inner light to flow through you, and remain self-aware.  And finally, try to feel grateful for something every day.  Then all of the little annoyances of life will seem less important, and fall away.

Bennett Michael Roberts

Web:  Bennettroberts.com

Blog:  JobSearchPower.wordpress.com

Free eBook at:  www.smashwords.com/books/view/147541

Re: The Patchwork Soul

momentumofjoy:

This is one of the first posts I ever wrote and it is still my favorite. Something about it still speaks to me more than any of the others. I think I just need these words sometimes as reminders of the really big picture. Hope you like it, too. Blessings to you always. Jo :)

Originally posted on Momentum of Joy:

When you look at yourself, what do you see?  Does it all make sense to you, and do you like every part of that picture?  When I look deep within, I sometimes find that I have questions.  I see parts that are beautiful, bright and fun.  I see elements of joy, moments of unshakeable faith, and acts of kindness that make me smile.  I love these pieces of me.  But then I notice other parts that don’t appear to continue that wonderful trend.  There are remnants of doubt, frustration and sometimes anger.  At times, there are places that seem dark and cold.  I see colors that clash and mismatched patterns.

How do these fit into the same package?  I cannot fathom how this mix of light patches and dark patches will possibly come together to become something worth keeping and definitely can’t see them fitting together to become something spectacular.

But then I remember the one thing that matters more than anything else.  I am not the…

View original 230 more words

Rewrite the Rules

My sister always sends me the best stuff.  Thanks CB!

The Boulder In My Way

I have noticed that many of us expend a great deal of energy trying desperately to move various boulders out of our path in life.  These appear in infinite forms but the most prevalent concern I see during the energy sessions I give is the negative way we perceive ourselves.  We jump at any opportunity to become our own worst critic.

We have a limited number of hours in the day and can only fit so many choices into each moment.  Nevertheless we become frustrated or apologetic when we don’t get everything on our list knocked out.  We want to be good people (parents, spouses, friends, employees), but sometimes we make mistakes.  Despite the innumerable good choices we have made, we dwell endlessly on those negative events.

What if we decided that the boulder wasn’t really in our way?  What if we decided to just go around it instead of fighting endlessly with it?  We have choices regarding how we perceive our lives, and thankfully this includes wonderful alternative ways of thinking about ourselves.

Rather than beating yourself up for not getting it all done, take a look at what you DID check off your list.  And if you only made a dent in one thing, that’s still something!  If you feel like you aren’t meeting other people’s expectations, imagine if the situation was reversed.  Would you really be that angry or disappointed?  If you made a specific promise or commitment but you were not able to keep it, be honest and own up to it.  Learn from it and release it.  If you made a mistake in a relationship (personal or professional), apologize, correct it if you can, and make better choices when the situation arises again (and the universal odds are very high that it will).  Don’t marinate in the negativity of the past.  If you must marinate in something, I suggest a bubble bath or positive thinking.

If you are upset because you feel like you aren’t where you should be at this point in your life, please step back and look at how far you have come.  Every moment you have lived has brought you to where you are today, and you have learned so much.  If you are truly unhappy, figure out which parts you can start to change.  Don’t expect anyone else or your circumstance to change for the positive until you are willing to take positive steps, too.  You have the power to unbreak all those pieces that you believe are broken in you.  Ironically, the really funny part is that there isn’t any part of you that is actually broken.  Somewhere along the way, you believed that you were broken and the idea stuck.  You may have some rough edges, but that gives you character and probably creates some interesting learning opportunities.  You are not stuck in a hole unless you decide that you are.

Every moment is an opportunity of choice.  Choose health.  Choose kindness.  Choose happiness.  And always choose love.  Choose all of these for yourself, and leave the self judgement, deprecation, criticism, and unrealistic expectations behind.  You have so much to share with the world, and it would be wonderful if you started by sharing all that amazing goodness with yourself.

http://joyfullyrenewed.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/mountains-out-of-molehills/

Request an Energy Session

***This is a new page I have added to my Momentum of Joy WordPress site.  I am extremely excited and look forward to working with many new people in the years to come.  If you are interested in scheduling a session, this information will be to the right of all MoJo posts in the vertical sidebar.  Thanks so very much again to all of you for the love, support and trust.  You are so wonderful!  :)

I offer energy sessions by phone or email to those who are seeking greater clarity and positive changes in their lives.  Please email me directly at intuitivejo@gmail.com if you would like to schedule a time.  Session details are below.

Love and light to you always.  Joanna

Distance Energy Session ($75 per hour):

I begin the session by connecting with your spirit at the energy level before we have a conversation.  My intention is to receive information from your guidance so that I may understand what will help you move forward in the most positive way.

After studying your energy and making detailed notes, I will request that you call or instant message me.  I highly recommend that you schedule a phone session as I receive extensive information as we speak.  My goal is to convey as much information as possible in the time we have scheduled.  However this is left to you to decide, so you can choose IM or email if that is your preference.  For international clients, I also offer the option of scheduling a session via Skype.

Allowing an unbiased facilitator to give feedback and clarification can give you a different and wonderful perspective.  These sessions are designed to help you release any heaviness that may weigh you down.  When you feel your energy grow lighter (and you absolutely can feel it!), you will move forward with greater happiness and connection to spirit.

I strongly believe that it is not my role to “fix” my clients.  I feel that I serve as a spiritual intermediary.  It is always up to you to determine how you will move through your life.  Taking this wonderful step is a beautiful way to move forward in your life and your journey.

Blessings to you always.  :)  Joanna

intuitivejo@gmail.com

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