Big Worry in a Little Package

small-packageMy daughter is typically carefree or running full throttle in high energy mode (no idea where she got that!). But when she starts to worry, she reeeeaaally digs deep. One frequent concern she raises is with regard to going away for college. She doesn’t know where to go or what she will specialize in, but she is certain that she wants to stay close to home. She brings it up over and over again, and I continue to reinforce that we will be supportive of whatever choice she selects. At that point, I also remind her that she is six years old.

And then this evening she brought up how she wanted to live with us in the new house forever (we are building a new house that is supposed to be THE house we will live in for many many years to come, or if my husband gets his way, until the kicking of the bucket has come to pass). So when she mentioned living with me in the house, she also wanted to discuss her being able to sleep in my bed when she was older and also a mom. At this point, I asked her if she was planning to be married but also quickly clarified that her older brother would not be a suitable marital option – talk about a buzzkill! (She didn’t know that was against the rules.) Well after she recovered from that bombshell, she decided that a couple of boys she knew “would work.”

I explained that there were still a few remaining points she might need to contemplate. 1. Most married men don’t want to sleep with their in-laws (Don’t tell me if you do. No part of me wants to know that.). 2. She could wait a bit and pick someone down the road who might be the perfect fit at that time. 3. She didn’t even have to get married if she didn’t want to. That was a great choice, too, if it was what she decided.

Well she was still struggling with the whole “husband not wanting to sleep in the same bed as his wife’s mother” thing but I told her that I was pretty inflexible in this department. Nevertheless we agreed that she could live with me forever and ever if that was her choice. Thankfully that soothed her little soul.

I don’t know why she stresses about all this stuff, but it absolutely plagues her. She melts my heart completely and totally. I adore that she loves us so much that she can’t imagine ever leaving us, and I certainly don’t look forward to the moment when she will.

I wonder if this is how God sees us. All wrapped up in our worries and waiting for the sky to come crashing down on us at any moment. Although we aren’t sure how our lives will play out, we will always be cared for and we will always have a safe loving place to call home – forever and ever. And that soothes my little soul.

Much love and light to all of you. Joanna

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joyful Mama Designs
    Aug 13, 2013 @ 20:50:17

    Oh Jo. I didn’t see that last paragraph coming (I know, shocking!). That just touched my heart so deeply that I cannot express. I needed that reminder :) Thank you my friend.

    Reply

    • momentumofjoy
      Aug 13, 2013 @ 21:01:16

      Would you believe me if I said that I didn’t see it coming either and that I responded to it the same way. I know that sounds strange but I think I needed the message, too. :)

      Reply

  2. writerwannabe763
    Aug 13, 2013 @ 21:30:27

    It must indeed warm your heart when you child just always imagines being with you … That’s when you know you’ve done something more than just ‘right’!…Diane

    Reply

  3. Anonymous
    Aug 13, 2013 @ 21:35:13

    Thanks for that pick-me-up! Cute!! Sounds like your daughter is having some separation anxiety, though. Could she be dealing with major changes? Maybe she’s not feeling secure in her life? Just a thought from a therapist’s mind.. I can’t help it, the thoughts just come as I read things. Either way, I love your witty response and even more so your beautiful message. Thank you!! Xo

    Reply

    • momentumofjoy
      Aug 14, 2013 @ 06:59:15

      Very very good questions and I absolutely agree. Several major changes have happened with the family over the past few months. In preparation for building a new house, we put out old house on the market. As date would have it, the house sold in a day. So now we have moved temporarily into a rental house. Half of our belongings are in storage and a great deal of the rest is in boxes or on the “do not use” list since we are trying to keep the house in good condition. And then there is the new house – still hasn’t broken ground but she and I are checkin out the property daily. We just want the kids to feel like it is theirs and will be here soon. And last but very much not least, they have had to change schools. This was HUGE. We wanted to make the change while they were small but they had good friends at the other school. Those kids are just far enough away to make it hard to see them regularly. So ultimately yes there have been some very major changes from a kid and adult perspective. In the end I believe very strongly that this move is the best thing for our family but in the meantime it has turned the apple cart in all kinds of wacky directions. Thoughts or advice on this one?

      Thank you truly for caring enough to ask about this. I genuinely appreciate your concern. Being a mama isn’t easy and the “how to raise your kid” manual is tough to read (because it is invisible and nonexistent). ;)

      Reply

  4. donnaanddiablo
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 03:06:57

    Such a sweet (and reassuring) story….thx Jo….

    Reply

  5. Marylin Warner
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 10:56:44

    This is a WONDERFUL post. I remember my own daughter having this same attitude, and then when my grandchildren expressed the same “we’ll always live here, okay? even when we get married…” it was equally sweet. Enjoy every hug and question. They grow up so fast and want their own apartment.

    Reply

  6. Yaz
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 12:02:00

    This is a lovely reminder of our own child-like thinking, of our own need for safety and security and reassurance about the future. Our little children reflect exactly how we feel.

    Reply

  7. 1girl4adamwest
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 18:22:24

    Your words are heartwarming and beautiful! I wish us kids could stay with our parents forever. I love my parents and thank God for giving me to them.

    Reply

  8. Marylin Warner
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 20:18:58

    Sorry to post this on the wrong topic, but 3 times now I’ve tried to comment on “Question for bookworms,” and each time it says it can’t. So I’ll try once more, but on this page: Some of the chapters of THE UNTETHERED SOUL lend themselves to group discussions and comments. Others are more solitary, and still others feel like they could be referred to and compared in general or specific sections. Does that make sense? Maybe this book could be handled by themes or topics? I don’t know; it’s just a suggestion if you want to pose a question and then elicit comments in response.

    Reply

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